Kinda Sorta Famous

in pursuit of life, love, and the opportunity to be…

the breakup

I broke up with my new friend a couple of weeks ago. Honestly, I don’t know why. We’ve been working out so well these past 7 months. Getting to know each others strengths and weaknesses.

We were just getting comfortable around each other.

Accepting each others flaws and overcoming obstacles, together.

But one night was all it took. One night and my new friend Celibacy, Celi for short, was out the door.

Damn.

Was it worth it? Not sure. That first time was actually a little uncomfortable. Kinda like going to the dentist.

You feel pressure, but thanks to the anesthesia, you don’t feel the pain.

So you’re numb.

I guess this particular night there was no numbness from any assorted creams or gels. (I guess it was too soon to break out the stuff from the passion parties.)

But maybe I wanted to be numb.

It would be easier to deny how angry I was at myself for letting Celi go.

A whole 7 months.

My head was clearer.

My heart was opening.

More self reflection. More self repair.

I want my friend Celi back.

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September 28, 2008 Posted by | between the sheets | , , , | 2 Comments

i’m probably gonna get in trouble for this…

Have you ever walked into a room and seen the hottest man you have ever seen and possibly will ever see in your life?

It’s like everything else around you is out of focus and moves in slow motion.

Then you smile.

Then he smiles.

And at that point you are thinking how to give him your number without coming off too aggressive and what a great lay you hope he will be. And how nothing will stand in your way down the path to sensual seduction… (I’m gonna take my tiiiimmmmme… LOL)

Suddenly, everything comes into focus and things are in rapid motion again.

And you see her.

Some girl giving you a look like you grabbed the last Coach bag from the outlet mall’s doorbuster special.

Oops.

But wait, is he wearing a ring?

No.

Fair game right? So your mind wonders if your sheets are clean and did you finish the last of that bottle of wine…

Well maybe that’s just me.

But most of you wonder if its still possible to somehow slip him your number by the end of the night.

Right?

So here’s my words of wisdom to all the ladies with eye candy for boyfriends…

GET USED TO IT!

If other ladies are checking your man out, THAT’S A GOOD THING! Don’t sit there and suck your teeth eyeing me all night long. Do you feel threatened?

Oh so now some of yall feel attacked? Well let me help you.

The next time you catch Googly Eyed Chick eyeing your man at a group social event, walk over. Introduce yourself, strike up convo, then talk about how cute your boo is. Then tell Miss Googly Eyed that how he’s a great guy and whatnot, but you wish he was better in bed. Basically tell him how small his equipment is and how you would rather get a root canal with no anethesia than let him lick on your lolly.

Telling her how much he sucks in the sack will turn off her imagination and decrease the chances of her slipping your man the digits.

Not feeling that bold? Well you need to get some confidence and bury the jealous hatchet.

I’m just sayin’.

April 22, 2008 Posted by | between the sheets, relationship crap, the dating game | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment