Kinda Sorta Famous

in pursuit of life, love, and the opportunity to be…

bartender! i’ll have one of those cute, sweet, colorful drinks with the umbrella and cherries!

Heterosexual Male Friendly?

Disclaimer: I am not an alcoholic.

Am I the only person who pays attention to what a man drinks? Before yall gang up on me, let me say this, there are a few people who are not under my personal scrutiny. This includes: married men, homosexual or bisexual men, and male friends that I have no interest in.

But for those that I go out on dates with or have a romantic interest in, I pay attention to what they drink.

I mean ladies, say you are on a date and the waiter takes your drink order. You order a Captain and Sprite. He orders a Piña Colada. WTF? Wouldn’t you raise your eyebrow? I mean what kinda man orders a Piña Colada and drinks it in public? (If you’re on a beach in the Carribean, that doesn’t count.)

And gentlemen, don’t even start. I’ve been out a couple time and ordered a Heineken instead of the cute little drink that was on the cover of the drink menu. I got a couple of raised eyebrows. One dude even had the nerve to say, “You should drink champagne, not beer.” He was so wack. Nonetheless, I try not to spring the whole “beer thing” right away. Apparently, it’s not “ladylike”. LOL

So since a lot of you want to tell us women what is “ladylike” and what is not, let me help some of you assholes gentlemen out. Here are my 3 tips to ordering a drink when out on a date.

1. Skip the fruit. If it comes garnished anyways, feed it to me. (That’s sexy!) Or throw it off of your drink and to the floor, then stomp it with great disdain. Then scream ARRRRRGGGHHHHH! FRUIT! (Shows your aggressive side. Plus it would be funny as fuck!)

2. Keep it simple. Here’s the formula: “I’ll have a {insert liquor} and {insert 1 optional mixer}.” It is always appropriate to order beer or wine.

3. Sip, don’t gulp. I’m surprised I even have to say this! This reminds me of when I invited “Jigga” over for a glass of wine. (See my Older=Better blog.) Now I knew he wasn’t the most refined individual so I simply asked him, Red or White? He said Red, and then I witnessed the the race to the bottom of the wine glass. I sat there in shock and disbelief. If it doesn’t come in a 2oz glass, you do not “take it to the head.”

Let this be a lesson to you ladies, what a man drinks says alot about who he really is.

Seriously. Marinate on that.

Enough of my truths thoughts.

What are yours?


May 16, 2008 Posted by | night life, relationship crap, the dating game | , , , , | 3 Comments