Kinda Sorta Famous

in pursuit of life, love, and the opportunity to be…

do you have a girlfriend?


I wish I had a small inconspicuous little lie detector test with me at all times.

Then whenever I asked this question, I could pull it out. And if your ass was lying, it would go Soulja Boy on you and scream, YAAAH BYTCH YAAAH!!!

But of course, this doesn’t exist…yet. So until then, I have to ask every man who shows interest,

“Do you have a girlfriend?”


“You sure? No wife? Partner? Boyfriend?”

“Naw. I’m straight. So can I call you?”

So we have good convo for a few days and whatnot. And then, my phone rings…

“Ummmm… this is KEYSHA and I don’t know who you are but I found yo number in my man phone! AND he been acting real funny lately and we stay together and I’m pregnant with twins and I was with him when his momma died and his brother got shot. And even though he cheated on me before I still loves him and I aint gonna lose him to NO BYTCH. So, I just wanted to let you know.”


Me: Well, I just met him. We just talked on the phone once.

That’s pretty much my standard answer. I mean I’m sure I don’t need to tell her how great of a kisser her man is or how he really knows how to use that tongue of his or how I was amazed of his …

I mean these are things she already knows.

Cause even if I did, she aint gonna leave him just cause he *clears throat* called me? LOL. What’s the point?

What I don’t understand is WHY IS IT IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL THE TRUTH! And don’t give me that bullshyt about how some women “can’t handle the truth.”

Cause we can.

You just can’t handle us, handling the truth.

So you lie.


These phone calls are getting old…

…next time I get one, I’m going to make up some over the top story to tell the chic. Then, at the end of my extra elaborate tall tale, I’m going to scream YAAAH BYTCH YAAAH!!!



February 17, 2008 - Posted by | the dating game | , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. I guess it’s the proverbial thing of wanting our cake and eating it to. Most of us are afraid that if you agree to date us while we are dating someone or married then we have to face our own mortality of dealing with the issue that maybe our wife, girlfriend or significant other is doing the same and that scares the hell out of us. So then you ask, “Why do it?” Don’t have an answer but I know that it makes for interesting sex on both venues.

    Comment by Almighty | March 20, 2008 | Reply

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